How ComebackSociety helps you to understand between Shame and Guilt

SHAME and GUILT

Shame and guilt are some of the most powerful emotions in a soul. Both of these emotions are similar, in that they deal with remorse and inadequacies – the same feelings that often compel users to start taking drugs.

Shame can be caused by committing a crime and it could also be caused by being the victim. After years of suppressing these feelings of shame, mental disorders are created, which are overwhelmingly distressful. A common coping method to deal with shame is substance abuse.  Shame is a good justification for an addict. “I’d never be able to quit. I am too weak.” You can see how nicely shame feeds into addiction and vice versa.

The Key Differences Between Guilt & Shame

While guilt and shame are very similar emotions, there are many differences between the two, and recognizing them is important. Guilt is when you feel bad about something that you’ve done, or committed to doing and then didn’t. For example, maybe you feel guilty about saying unkind things to someone while you were intoxicated, or making a promise to do something and then not following through.

Shame, however, goes a step further than guilt. While guilt is acknowledging and feeling bad that you did something you shouldn’t have, shame is internalizing guilt and believing that you, yourself are bad because of the bad things you’ve done.

Shame is considered to be a “self-conscious emotion” by many mental health professionals. Being able to differentiate between guilt and shame is important because it can influence your behaviors and reactions. For example, guilt often motivates you to apologize, correct a mistake, or make amends with someone you’ve wronged. Shame, on the other hand, influences actions that are self-destructive and thoughts that are negative and self-deprecating.

 

What are the Roles of Guilt and Shame in Drug Addiction

Shame and guilt are so powerful, because they cause a person to experience distress on account of their own actions or words. When someone wrestles with jealousy or disdain or irritation or loathing, the emotions involve someone or something else. It is natural for a human to castigate blame on this foreign entity. Shame occurs when we blame ourselves – all of those bad feelings are intensified, and magnified in our souls.

Concerning drug addiction, guilt and shame are very important. A person may suffer from some childhood trauma and seek substances to ease the pain of guilt. Eventually, the addiction will begin to hurt their loved ones. As a result, the person may start to feel shame. Generally, guilt causes addiction and addiction causes shame.

Shame in Addiction

According to SAMHSA, shame is more complex than guilt. People may not feel shame, but rather, they will feel the turbulent emotions associated with shame, such as depression and loneliness. It is easy to understand how a person living with such crippling emotions will turn to alcohol or drugs to ease the burden.

 

Where does the Shame Come From?

Such inner turmoil can often be traced back to one’s childhood. A victim of child abuse may nurse feelings of shame their whole lives. While the actual abuser was someone else, the victim may feel shame for not defending themselves or for not ending the abuse properly or quickly enough.

Children often assume that their punishment was as a result of their own actions. The victim of child abuse may begin to blame themselves for the abuse. Their beating was as a result of their mistake.

Embracing this logic for years and decades will form a certain type of mind. By rationalizing child abuse as a just punishment, one’s perception could be warped regarding anything else. As a result, a child that blames themselves for abuse, will grow up and be more accepting when someone abuses them.

How does Shame Create an Addict?

Untreated, people deal with shame in a number of different unhealthy ways. Almost all of these methods generate more shame. For example, if someone was abused as a child, they may transfer such abuse by bullying others. Such a recourse may be a temporary solution, but basically, it is just accruing more pain. Eventually, the bully will acknowledge how much pain they have caused, and the attempted recourse just results in more shame.

Violence, aggression as well as eating disorders are common causes of shame. Depending on how bad the levels of shame are, one may suffer mental problems, such as depression or substance abuse.

Shame Causes Addiction and then Addiction Causes More Shame

 People suffering from mental disorders, such as depression, schizophrenia or trauma, will consume drugs or alcohol to numb the pain of the disorder. After a while however, the user discovers that drug addiction makes the mental disorder much worse. So now, the tormented mind must battle their mental disorder plus addiction.

While many victims of trauma may suffer immense shame, which in turn, may drive them to consume drugs or alcohol, many addicts can begin to feel shame over their consumption of drugs or alcohol. In other words, substance abuse creates much more shame, especially in someone struggling with shame issues.

The list of things people do while under the influence of substances that could cause pain or embarrassment is endless. From stealing to pay for your next fix to killing someone in a drunk driving accident to tripping over your feet to lying to a loved one’s face – all these events can cause potential shame, especially in someone dealing with mental disorders.

Individuals Suffering From Addiction Will Hide Their Substance Abuse

Any user will try to keep their addiction hidden. This is common. However, people battling shame will find that hiding an addiction becomes another reason to feel shame. Medical professionals now agree that addiction is a disease. But many still accept the traditional explanation that drug use is a result of moral weakness. Such a perspective would convince a user that their addiction is their fault.

Consuming drugs and alcohol are harmful activities Society shuns substance abuse. Ever since the user was a child, they had been told ‘not to do drugs’ by authority figures. Every time that they consume their drugs or alcohol, a voice in the back of their head is telling them that they are bad.

Destroy Shame with Your Guilt

Up until this point, this article has been bad-mouthing both guilt and shame. Both words have been portrayed as negative and harmful. In fact, guilt is a good thing. According to some therapists, guilt is a recovering addict’s greatest weapon.

It is good to feel guilt and bad to feel shame. With the right therapy, a person can potentially expel their shame, by understanding their guilt. One feels guilty by acknowledging that they had done something wrong. Treatment teaches us that the more guilt we possess, the less shame we endure.

Think about it. As long as an addict refuses to accept guilt, their addiction will endure. Even if their addiction makes them lose their job, lose their kids, or crash their cars, as long as they don’t think that they have done anything wrong, and have accepted guilt, they will continue to abuse.

 Here, in ComebackSociety, we not only help people to understand suffering from shame and guilt but also provides therapy on how to overcome that which in long run helps in their sobriety.